How do you manage a relationship when your partner is not looking for financial freedom and you are? When your partner is the spender in the relationship, things can get thrown out of sync. In fact, managing money in general when in a partnership — especially when your partner has a different idea of financial freedom — can be hard. However, I’m here to help you through these differences.
Managing Money When Your Partner Has Different Values
First of all, understand that you don’t have an issue with your partner. You have an issue with your partner’s money blueprint not matching your blueprint.
I had the same situation myself with my ex-wife at the time. She is one of the most amazing people on this planet. You couldn’t have a nicer heart or be a better mother. However, our partnership when it came to managing money can be very illustrative. My history can teach you how to improve your future.
My Financial History and My Ex-Wife’s
One problem was that my meaning for money came from growing up with parents saving every dollar that they possibly could. By managing money, they were trying to become free so that they wouldn’t be slaves to anybody else. They didn’t want anybody else to ever be able to control them. With this background, for me, money meant freedom.
My wife’s parents owned a little convenience store, like a 7-11. They sold candies, cigarettes, bread, and that type of thing, and it was actually very successful. For her, all she thought about was the candies. Whenever she came into the store, her father would give her candies, and all of her friends would have to buy her candies for a penny or two. Money meant pleasure for her.
Somehow in her blueprint, money meant that when you have it, you should spend it. Her parents didn’t teach her about financial freedom and things like that.
Consequently, when we got into a relationship, we had different viewpoints when it came to managing money. For me, spending money meant spending freedom. In contrast, her money-meaning was that if you don’t spend the money, or if you try to save the money, you’re taking away pleasure.
How You Can Work Past Financial Fights
The bottom line is this: know that you and your partner have different blueprints for money. Additionally, don’t limit this understanding just to romantic partners. After all, your kids, your business partner, and so many other relationships may have different money blueprints guiding them. When you experience fights in these different partnerships, remember you’re arguing with their blueprint, not with them.
Understand that you’re looking at a difference of opinion brought about by conditioning and how they were brought up. You can’t fault your partner for being a spender because that’s how they were raised.
Instead, sit down with them — but only when you’re not upset. Over a nice dinner when you’ve been getting along beautifully, say, “I’d love to talk with you about something in our relationship that I’d love to be able to take to the next level. Are you willing? ” And you start the conversation from there.
It’s not your fault, and it’s not their fault. The problem is fear. Ask your partner if they can help you with it, and vice versa. Ask them what they think you can do, or what you can do together. Is there a way to balance the need for freedom and the need for spending and pleasure?
My resolution was, “Instead of taking all of the money and spending it, or taking all of the money and throwing it into an investment, why don’t we piece it off? Every month, you take this much money and go have a great time with it. I’ll take this much money, and we’ll put it into our Freedom Account. The rest we’ll manage.” Though we had other issues outside of money, this approach saved us both a lot of grief.
I bring all this up today because, unfortunately, statistics reveal that lots of relationships get into trouble over money. That doesn’t have to be the case. Understand how money blueprints work, and give your relationship the chance it deserves. Then, your relationships can grow, learn, and be happier.
For Your Freedom,
Now that you’ve addressed this issue, I have to ask: Are you living your best life possible? One that’s filled with happiness, balance, and fulfillment? 90% of people are not, but YOU CAN! Attend my FREE 80 minute class called, “The Ultimate Life Makeover” to learn how.