Do you struggle to get in touch with your feelings? If you don’t learn how to express your feelings, they’ll end up festering until they boil over. Find out how to properly articulate what you’re feeling to release your emotions every day.
How to Express Your Feelings
Do you have ongoing feelings that are just there constantly; that irritate, upset, or disappointment you?
When I talk to students, I get the feeling that a lot of people feel disappointed in parts of their lives. They feel disappointed, frustrated and think, “Why can’t I fix this? Why can’t I be where I want to be? Why can’t I do or have what I want to have? I don’t understand. I’m trying. I feel like I don’t have any control over this.”
That’s very frustrating, isn’t it? When you have these feelings of inadequacy or frustration, I want to offer you these three steps to take:
- Get in touch with your feelings
- Accept that you are human
- Do things to feel good about yourself
3 Steps to Learning How to Express Your Feelings
1. First, it’s important to get in touch with your feelings in the first place. The more you hide them, the more they’re under the surface. They get lodged into the cells of your body, and they stay there and stick like poison. They stay there forever until you acknowledge them by bringing them up to the surface and figuring out how to express your feelings. If you don’t have anyone to articulate them to, pick up a piece of paper, a pencil or pen, and journal your feelings.
I promise you this is huge because I know that I’ve gone from feeling like semi-crap recently for many weeks, to feeling pretty good. It all started with me expressing my feelings and getting in touch with them. I learned to open up about them even if no one’s around, and I began journaling, as well.
2. Secondly, it’s about accepting that you and I are just human beings, that we will have feelings, that we’re not weak for having these feelings. They’re not negative feelings. Feelings are feelings. It’s only you and I that make them positive or negative. We all do this to ourselves. The most important thing is to recognize that you’re the one who’s labeling these feelings. Otherwise they aren’t anything but what they are: feelings.
3. Do things that make you feel good about you. When you can’t do as much as you’d like to, the worst thing you can do to your happiness and state of mind is make yourself feel bad about yourself. If you can’t do something outdoorsy because of injury limitations, or can’t go where you want to go because you’re broke, engage your mind in something: reading, writing, whatever your down-time thing is, do it!
Embarrassment is not bad. Disappointment is not bad. I’m not saying they’re necessarily good, but everything is neutral. Remember that. I needed to get a kick in the pants recently to remember it.
Get in Touch With Your Feelings so They Don’t Boil Over
The most important thing you can learn to do is get in touch with your feelings and learn how to express your feelings. Once they’re out there, it’s not that hard to release them. All you have to do is look at them, and they won’t look so scary anymore.
That’s why it is essential that you begin to see what’s inside of you because what’s inside is always going to come out. When you’re angry, people smell it on you. You don’t have to tell anyone you’re angry. They already know, or they know there’s something going on with you, and they’re not attracted to it.
I’m not saying that it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but it’s not a good thing if it festers inside of you and you don’t bring it to the surface. Trust me…I will be following my own advice, and I will be doing this same exercise as you on a continuous basis.
I really learned something literally in the last few days about the importance of my feelings: that they’re okay, and to make sure they don’t get stuck inside.
Try this on for an exercise. It’s an old idea from Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way and it’s called the Morning Pages.
Every morning, before you brush your teeth even, write non-stop and whatever is on your mind without editing, for 5-10 minutes. No matter how ridiculous, how vulgar (respect your privacy, of course), how immature, childish, whatever…just write!
See how that feels for a few mornings, then tell us what you think. Share as much as you’d like, but tell us about the experience. We want to hear from you!
For Your Freedom,